Download Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or by Michael C. LaSala PDF

By Michael C. LaSala

The invention baby is lesbian or homosexual can ship shockwaves via a relations. A mom will query how she's raised her son; a father will fear that his daughter will event discrimination. From the child's standpoint, homosexual and lesbian adolescence worry their households will reject them and they will lose monetary and emotional help. All in all, studying a toddler is homosexual demanding situations long-held perspectives approximately sexuality and relationships, and the ensuing uncertainty can produce emotions of anger, resentment, and main issue. via a qualitative, multicultural research of sixty-five homosexual and lesbian kids and their mom and dad, Michael LaSala, a number one professional in this factor, outlines powerful, practice-tested interventions for households in transition. His examine finds impressive results, corresponding to studying baby is gay can increase familial relationships, together with father-child relationships, whether a dad or mum reacts strongly or negatively to the revelation. by means of confronting emotions of melancholy, anxiousness, and grief head on, LaSala formulates the simplest method for practitioners who wish to reestablish intimacy between relations and shield family members connections—as good as person autonomy—well into the child's maturation. through proscribing his examine to oldsters and youngsters of a similar kinfolk, LaSala correctly captures the reciprocal results of relatives interactions, determining them as pursuits for potent remedy. popping out, Coming house is additionally a worthwhile textual content for households, permitting adjustment via relatable situations and analyses.

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Extra info for Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child

Example text

We like being the daddy of a little girl. It’s really pretty easy. And great fun. But we also know that magic won’t last. Change is coming. And we don’t know what our relationship is going to look like on the other side. We’ve heard ominous stories of teenage girls raging against their fathers. We feel helpless when we consider the world she’s about to enter. We imagine the worst: sexual promiscuity, eating disorders, alcohol, drugs, depression, obsessing over looks, sleepless nights, parties she isn’t invited to, parties she is invited to, homework assignments we can’t begin to help with, and whether or not we matter anymore.

In chapter 6, “Pragmatism and Grit,” Dr. Meeker writes, Princesses take. Princesses want more. Princesses demand. They expect perfection and lack pragmatism. They don’t act—except to tell others what they want. But pioneer women know that life is the way it is, and they rely on themselves to move forward…Inevitably, your daughter will encounter pain. People die and loved ones get cancer. She might not get asked to the prom. She might get pregnant at sixteen. She might develop an eating disorder.

For the rest of the year, the cricket episode was never mentioned again. Looking back, no regrets. A girl bringing a box of bugs to school may not be a typical kindergarten scenario. But why settle for typical? Dad, your daughter doesn’t always have to be the center of attention, but she should rarely settle for same-o, same-o. Encourage her to approach most assignments, performances, or art projects from a fresh angle. She could write that report on the Jurassic era from the dinosaur’s perspective.

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